[{"id":488710603031,"handle":"inventory-we-stock","updated_at":"2026-04-13T04:03:18-07:00","published_at":"2024-10-27T18:15:02-07:00","sort_order":"alpha-asc","template_suffix":"","published_scope":"web","title":"INVENTORY WE STOCK","body_html":""},{"id":263198670936,"handle":"kula-marketplace","updated_at":"2026-04-13T04:03:18-07:00","published_at":"2021-11-23T09:38:33-08:00","sort_order":"manual","template_suffix":"marketplace","published_scope":"global","title":"Kula Community Marketplace","body_html":"","image":{"created_at":"2021-11-24T10:39:26-08:00","alt":null,"width":4032,"height":1584,"src":"\/\/kulacloth.com\/cdn\/shop\/collections\/kula-market-place.jpg?v=1709568216"}},{"id":428541051159,"handle":"gift-bundles","updated_at":"2026-04-13T04:03:18-07:00","published_at":"2022-11-25T11:23:14-08:00","sort_order":"manual","template_suffix":"","published_scope":"global","title":"Outdoor Hygiene Essentials","body_html":"\u003cp style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003eStaying clean outdoors doesn’t have to be complicated. Whether you're hiking, backpacking, or traveling, having the right hygiene gear can make all the difference.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","image":{"created_at":"2022-11-25T11:23:13-08:00","alt":null,"width":3600,"height":1200,"src":"\/\/kulacloth.com\/cdn\/shop\/collections\/DSC-5543.jpg?v=1774892700"}},{"id":149658468467,"handle":"shop-all-kula","updated_at":"2026-04-13T04:03:18-07:00","published_at":"2019-09-22T08:27:38-07:00","sort_order":"manual","template_suffix":"","published_scope":"global","title":"SHOP ALL KULA!","body_html":"\u003cp style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cem\u003eIsn't it incredible that you are alive on this amazing planet? We think so too.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cscript type=\"application\/ld+json\"\u003e\n{\n \"@context\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\",\n \"@type\": \"CollectionPage\",\n \"name\": \"Kula Cloth Collection\",\n \"description\": \"Shop all Kula Cloth designs. Reusable antimicrobial pee cloths for hiking, backpacking, and travel. Stay clean and comfortable outdoors with an eco-friendly alternative to toilet paper.\",\n \"mainEntity\": {\n \"@type\": \"ItemList\",\n \"itemListElement\": [\n {\n \"@type\": \"Product\",\n \"name\": \"Kula Cloth\",\n \"description\": \"Reusable antimicrobial pee cloth for hiking, backpacking, and travel.\",\n \"position\": 1\n }\n ]\n }\n}\n\u003c\/script\u003e","image":{"created_at":"2020-05-15T10:56:25-07:00","alt":null,"width":3600,"height":1200,"src":"\/\/kulacloth.com\/cdn\/shop\/collections\/S_more_1.jpg?v=1735933436"}}]
" I (state your name), from this day forward, take this bidet to be my faithfully trusted piece of gear, to own and to hold, through thick and thin poops, to be used daily in the woods away from a trail, and at least 150' away from water, until death or chronic constipation do us apart."
The picture of the Holey Hiker Bidet might show you what it looks like, but it does not come close to bringing you the same emotional joy that you will feel after using it the first time. Order one now. It will arrive at your home in a week or two. Take it out of the box. Pop it into your favorite water bottle. Drop your pants. Squirt.
You know what you are feeling?
Freedom.
Freedom from toilet paper. Freedom from chaffing and monkey butt. Freedom from that smell that starts coming up after about three days on the trail. Freedom from the guilt you have been feeling for years. You know that smearing poop against your skin with toilet paper until it disappeared just did not seem to make any sense. You are now living guilt free. You are living clean.
In the words of some of our favorite customers:
"I bought 2 bidets from you back in April. My wife and I spent the summer and fall hiking on the PCT and "the original squirt" was a superstar. It blew our minds. Our rear ends have never been so clean. We will never carry toilet paper again except in the most dire of desert conditions." --Jacob
"Wash your butt. It’s only weird the first time or two and then you’re like, 'Why didn’t I start doing this years ago' Seriously. Wash your butt already." Phillip P
