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KÜLA CLOTH for PREMIUM URINATORS
KÜLA CLOTH for PREMIUM URINATORS

KÜLA CLOTH for PREMIUM URINATORS

Regular price
$100,000.00
Sale price
$100,000.00

KÜLA CLOTH:

For PREMIUM URINATORS.  The ultimate luxury wiping experience. This Küla Cloth was designed for the most discriminating customer. Not recommended to be used on anything smaller than a 50ft yacht, preferably in French Polynesia. 

Gold-infused antimicrobial properties and woven with a diamond encrusted needle from magically absorbent silk fibers produced by an ancient spider who lives amongst of a cluster of amethyst crystals in a mountain lair next to a secret bubbling spring with healing waters.  

Hand-foraged, sustainable, one of a kind display branch is sold separately.  

Customer Reviews

Based on 6 reviews Write a review
Customer Reviews
3.7 Based on 3 Reviews
5 ★
67% 
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1 ★
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ÖB
02/05/2022
Öûjå B.
United States United States

Severely Disappointed

I bought this for my step daughter to try and win her over. She is angry at me for accidentally crashing her Bentley. I reminded her if she didn’t want me to use it she shouldn’t have parked it in the 12 car garage, but rather back by the guest house. Despite me being right, I still worry she may poison my caviar when I am not looking. Who am I to remember which car belongs to who? She took one look at the Küla and smacked me with it. I would rate the product 0/5 stars if I could! Do NOT buy this unless you intend to use it to smack your enemies.

SA
02/05/2022
Schmanistasia A.
United States United States

Enlightened

Shortly after wiping with my Küla Cloth for the first time (and yes, I did purchase the accompanying Display Branch - what do you think I am... an ogre?), I transcended consciousness and drifted onto the Astral Plane for a good 45 minutes. While I was there, I unlocked the secrets of life, abundance and happiness while simultaneously realizing that my nether regions were drier and more comfortable than they had ever been. In a lifetime of wiping, I have never experienced something like this. When I came down from my 6D high, I received word that I was going to be getting a check for $10,000,000 in the mail from a Nigerian Price who (unbeknownst to me) was a distant relative!! What are the odds? I immediately sent him my SSN and bank deposit information and am awaiting a lifetime of riches. I look at this Küla Cloth as an investment piece - when you live in the energy of abundance, abundance will flow back to you ten fold. Don't believe me? Buy this item (and the branch) and see what happens. Unbelievable product and the quality is also incredible. It came with a lot of unnecessary packaging and was delivered to me via private jet with a glass a champagne. Küla Cloth spared no expense. You are worth it.

LD
02/05/2022
Laura D.
United States United States

Classy

All I can say is, I would pay double for this experience.